Ode to the Greatest Mac salesman who ever lived
The day has arrived!! Gundy is officially 23 today. And because today is such a pivotal moment in history, I took it upon myself to ponder deeply the things I have learned from Father Gundy (this also could have been the result of reading Alma's counsel to his sons in Alma 36-38 this morning). Here are some things that come to mind:
Sayings that sound like Gundy said them:
"I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
"Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first."
"The secret to biking is pretty simple. The slower you go the more likely it is you'll crash."
"Never ask a man what sort of computer he has. If it's a Mac, he'll tell you. If not, why embarrass him?"
Sayings that Gundy really said:
"I guess Pluto is no longer a planet: (http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,645195749,00.html). I guess that makes 7 planets, because I'll be dead before I recognize Saturn."
"Bad luck with waffle irons will lead to large monetary gains when you win your class action lawsuit this week."
"I was enraged that the makers of this game could make such an unsubstantiated claim that at best should be considered propaganda, especially in light of the fact that "Canasta" is widely considered the World's most challenging card game."
"I am going to purchase approximately 500 lbs. of Cadbury Mini Eggs to supply myself for the next year."
"Governmental and civic leader across the globe have put me on their lists of public nuisances. They have an agenda to destory the reputation of the penguin and they don't care if they have to trample me to do it."
I guess what I've learned from Pa this year is to:
Scorn the scientific community,
Take out a loan to buy as many Cadbury Mini Eggs as possible this Easter, and finally,
Choose a helpless cause (the fight against Phase 10, or the defense of the Empire Penguin) and be an iconoclast.
Thanks for all you've taught us Gundy. We'd never be the same without you.
Sayings that sound like Gundy said them:
"I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
"Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first."
"The secret to biking is pretty simple. The slower you go the more likely it is you'll crash."
"Never ask a man what sort of computer he has. If it's a Mac, he'll tell you. If not, why embarrass him?"
Sayings that Gundy really said:
"I guess Pluto is no longer a planet: (http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,645195749,00.html). I guess that makes 7 planets, because I'll be dead before I recognize Saturn."
"Bad luck with waffle irons will lead to large monetary gains when you win your class action lawsuit this week."
"I was enraged that the makers of this game could make such an unsubstantiated claim that at best should be considered propaganda, especially in light of the fact that "Canasta" is widely considered the World's most challenging card game."
"I am going to purchase approximately 500 lbs. of Cadbury Mini Eggs to supply myself for the next year."
"Governmental and civic leader across the globe have put me on their lists of public nuisances. They have an agenda to destory the reputation of the penguin and they don't care if they have to trample me to do it."
I guess what I've learned from Pa this year is to:
Scorn the scientific community,
Take out a loan to buy as many Cadbury Mini Eggs as possible this Easter, and finally,
Choose a helpless cause (the fight against Phase 10, or the defense of the Empire Penguin) and be an iconoclast.
Thanks for all you've taught us Gundy. We'd never be the same without you.
posted by Brett at
9:07 AM
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